The Full Story
I Built This Because Every Other Site Failed Me
My first cage cost $47. It sat in a drawer within a week.
The sizing chart on the product page was wrong. The “beginner-friendly” description was marketing copy. The reviews were either fake five-stars or one-star complaints with no useful detail. I had no idea what I was doing, and the internet wasn't helping.
So I bought another one. And another. Over two years, I spent over $800 on devices that didn't fit, materials that irritated my skin, and designs that looked good in photos but failed in practice. Every purchase was a gamble because no one was doing real, honest evaluation.
The “review” sites I found were either content farms with no actual testing, or storefronts disguised as guides. Nobody measured anything. Nobody talked about what actually matters: how it fits at 3 AM, how it handles a full day at work, whether you can clean it without a chemistry degree.
I started keeping notes. Then spreadsheets. Then I bought calipers. Somewhere between my fifteenth device and my first set of anatomical measurements, I realized I was building the resource I wished had existed when I started.
That resource is LockedCage.
What Makes Us Different
Independent reviews, fit tools, and buying guidance — built on real testing data.
We buy everything ourselves
No free samples from brands. No sponsored reviews. Every device on this site was purchased at retail price. We pay our own way — it keeps us honest.
We measure with calipers, not rulers
Internal diameter, cage length, gap width, ring curvature, vent hole size. We measure every dimension that affects fit and comfort, not just the numbers listed on the product page (which are often wrong).
We test over days, not minutes
A cage that feels fine for an hour might be unbearable after eight. Our testing protocol covers daytime wear, overnight wear, hygiene access, exercise, and sitting at a desk for extended periods. Because that's real life.
We built tools no one else has
Our AI Cage Check analyzes your measurements against our device database to predict fit issues before you buy. Our sizing calculator cross-references anatomical data with device geometry. These aren't gimmicks — they're the result of two years of data collection.
We say what not to buy
Every review includes honest downsides. Every "best of" list tells you who should NOT buy each product. We don't make money by convincing you to buy the wrong thing — we make money when you buy the right one and don't return it.
Our Process
How We Actually Test
Every device goes through the same protocol. No shortcuts. No exceptions.
Acquire & Measure
Purchase at retail. Measure every dimension with digital calipers. Photograph from 6 angles. Document materials and hardware.
Fit Testing
Test with 3 different ring sizes. Evaluate initial comfort, adjustment period, and pressure distribution. Note any pinch points or gaps.
Extended Wear
Minimum 72 hours of wear testing per device. Sleep test. Work test. Exercise test. Document comfort changes over time.
Score & Compare
Rate on 5 axes: Security, Comfort, Hygiene, Value, and Fit Options. Cross-reference against similar devices. Write the honest verdict.
Editorial Standards
Our Standards Are Simple
LockedCage exists to give honest, accurate guidance. Our revenue comes from affiliate commissions when readers buy through our links — which is why we only recommend devices we'd genuinely use ourselves. Every review is based on real testing. Every recommendation is based on what actually works for the stated use case, not what pays better commissions.
- We never accept payment to write or modify a review.
- We never rank a product because of any commercial relationship.
- We never suppress negative findings about a product.
- We link to brand and retailer pages for price reference. We earn affiliate commissions on those links. It never changes our verdicts.
The goal is to be the most useful resource in this space — the one you actually trust. That's only possible if the content is genuinely independent.
Explore
What We've Built
Enough About Us. Let's Find Your Cage.
Whether you're buying your first device or replacing one that didn't work out, we have the data to point you in the right direction.